morbidmanatee:

jungwildeandfree:

ethantheheffalump:

cerynn:

theamazingsallyhogan:

the-gender-enigma:

prokopetz:

Bad: aliens that insist upon referring to human women as “feeeeemales”.

Good: aliens that insist upon dividing humans into binary categories, but the binary in question is based on something we’d regard as trivial and bizarre.

pro cilantro and anti cilantro

Just to screw with us they refer to have designated half the population as “edible” and the other half is “inedible.”

No intention of eating anyone, they just like how uncomfortable it makes everyone.

Even better: the aliens all agree on who is edible and who is inedible, but the humans have no idea what the criteria is

Even better: there is no criteria, the Aliens just keep a running list of whenever one member designated a human as edible or not. People are baffled because the selection appears random yet all the aliens are up to date, so there must be SOMETHJNG

I love this because it implies the aliens possess either (1) a universal hive mind or (2) an intergalactic group chat dedicated to fucking with humanity 

“Hey guys Steve Johnson just laughed at my antennae he’s edible ok?”

“Yum yum Steve ribs”

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